I Have Cancer

I have cancer.

I have non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I have Stage II-B Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma.

I have cancer.

It doesn't matter how many times I say it. It doesn't matter which words I use. It still sounds like I'm talking about someone else. I know it's real. I know it's inside me. I feel bad. I have who knows what kind of poison running through my body attacking this shit. But it just doesn't seem like I, Suzi Mitchell, could possibly be talking about myself when I say the words "I have cancer."

I guess it'll really sink in later. Maybe when all my hair falls out. Maybe when I go for my next round of chemo. Maybe when I hear the word "remission". Who knows. I'm sure it'll sink in at some point.